He asked about how life with 2 kids was, I asked about life with no kids. We laughed, we shared. He then slipped that they were trying for kids themselves and the goalie was out of the game (side note, He'll be an awesome dad so I'm super excited for him).
After that little commit we spent the rest of the night talking about what it's like to be a dad, to adjust from being a family of 2, to a family of 3, to a family of 4.
He asked questions, I shared, I asked him questions, he shared. It was a good night.
Looking back on the conversations I felt the term "An Awful Wonderful" was in some weird way the theme of the night.
I shared how at any moment kids are just plain awful, and if you think I'm awful for saying that, well you're obviously not a parent.
They're awful when crying at 3 in the morning, or licking poo, or putting $10 of postage on themselves, and that was just what happened in the last 24 hours in our house. Much less the consent production of poop, the whining, the crying, oh the crying, the tantrums, the messes, the soul piercing toys that are invisible until your barefoot discovers them square on a nerve.
Kids can be just awful, lets just be honest.
They totally jack your sleep, your marriage, your free time, your sex (nothing like the fear of a 2 year old walking in to totally kill the moment), your sleep, your sleep, your sleep, did I clearly communicate sleep?
They take over your calendar, your car, your dining options at home and your dining options out.
These tiny innocent little humans have a way of living huge influential lives before they can even hold their heads up!
But oddly, as awful as some of these moment are, kids are also wonderful.
There's something about walking in the door and hearing tiny feet pattering across the hardwood shouting "daddy!". There's no invitation like the invitation to "wrestle me" or "tickle me" or as Zi says "eat me!" There's nothing like the full weight of an exhausted head tucked into your neck or a tiny hand holding your finger as you cross the street. Or the moment of excitement when a small bit of information makes more sense today then it did the day before.
Kids are awful and yet also wonderful.
They're an awful wonderful.
If we're honest, a lot of life can be like that
An awful wonderful....
- first year of marriage.
- any year of marriage.
- job
- friendships
- family
- house
Almost anything we encounter in life has the potential to be an Awful Wonderful.
As I look back on my marriage, I'd say it's wonderful. I flipping love my wife! She's my best friend, she's wonderful, but theres days she's awful, and we all know the same can be said about me.
When I look at my career, I love what I do, my job is beyond fulfilling, meaningful, and wonderful but there's seasons, days, moments that it's just awful. I once had to clean goat poop out of a stairwell because there was a "creative idea" involving a goat!
The same is true for my health, it's wonderful, until I think back to what it actually felt like to be running.
I love the fact I have a masters degree, but there were beyond awful papers and projects to get through.
These are only a few awful wonderfuls of life, the list could go one.
But every time I've chosen to work through the awful I eventually discover the wonderful.
A momentary awful seems to always eventually give way to a long term wonderful. It just takes some digging in, pushing through, and not wimping out.
But there's also moments of "Wonderful Awfuls."
Moments that what's offered, mentioned, dangled in front of us that looks simply wonderful. A "greener grass" that appears like a wonderful relationship, job, idea... a greener "wonderful" that when actually explored turns out to be a cheap ticket to an awful reality.
I've watched friends give up on marriages for "wonderful" relationships, just to discover an awful one.
Or pursue a "wonderful" career opportunities to only see that it put an awful stress on their family.
Or a hundred number of "wonderful" short wins for pleasure, prestige, or power only to quickly discover a trap door into the awful.
I know the awful days in my marriage prepared me to fully appreciate the wonderful ones.
The awful nights of crying tantrums make the wonderful moments of wrestling and cuddles more profound.
The awful long days of mind numbing tasks make the wonderful moments of seeing it "work" worth it.
So, don't miss the wonderful because of a momentary awful.
Keep going, keep working, keep committing, keep choosing to go another step, another day because eventually the awful wonderful is worth every struggle along the way.
Happy "awful wonderful" Friday.
Matt
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