Past. Present. Purpose and a raccoon named Rocky

Zi is in a stage where monsters are very real to him. He fears them and he looks for them. More then once he's came running in from a different room scared due to "monsters" of some sort.

Luckily, usually when mommy or daddy turns on a light and proves all is right, he acts like nothing happened and looks at us like we're actually the crazy ones scared of so called monsters.

Well, today at nap time he was nervous of monsters in his room. We looked together, we vanquished them, he bravely climbed in bed and then as I tucked him in he sheepishly asked for "Rocky" 

Now Rocky is from my past. 

He is super special.

He was my comfort as a kid and anyone who remembers me before I was 6 knows that Rocky and I were bff's. Rocky is a raccoon. His ears are chewed, his color has long faded. and his fur has the remains of boyhood still crusted in them. But Rocky is family. And Rocky now lives in Zion's room. 

Like most of our past, it somehow or another eventual finds a way of becoming the present for our loved ones. 

The stuffed animal that was my comfort, my special, is the one Zi now reaches for when he needs more comfort / protection / bravery then his current Tiger can give. 

My past now directly shapes his present. 

But not only does my past toys effect his present so do my past: 

- choices

- wins

- losses

- adventures I conquered

- adventures I totally wimped out on

- good habits formed 

- And destructive habits / responses / coping learned along the way.  

My past shapes his present. 

I use to think I needed to shield him from the destructive moments of my past, from the parts of my past that I'm not particularly fond of, the past that I'm not quick to share. 

But I wonder if when my past meets my present if it's really all about the purpose I put around it. 

I can't change it, but I can redefine it, I can turn a mistake into a make better moment, a regret into a redirect, a stumble into a stronger. 

Rocky is not just an old piece of decoration or toy from my past, in my present it's redefined with a purpose that gives my son courage to bravely take a nap by himself. 

I don't want my past to just be stories we share along our present journey but stories infused with purpose that launch my sons farther then I was, am, and will be. 

Happy past present and purposeful Saturday. 

Matt