Old stories, new insights

Have you ever read a story that you've heard a million times but this time for some reason something totally new pops out that you've never noticed.

Well, that happened to me this week. I started listening to a dramatized reading of the New Testament on my way to work, side note... there's nothing like hearing Morgan Freemen quote God. Well, between the sheep bahhhing (or however you spell their noise) and the noise of the crowd I noticed something in the story of the three wise men I've never thought about.

They were considered pagans compared to the Jewish audience reading the account of Matthew, but when they had a vision, a vision that Christian's might say was from God, they listened and then obeyed it. They were suppose to return to the ruling king of the land and inform him of Baby Jesus' where abouts but the vision instructed them to go a different route, to disobey the king, and to sneak out. Not a smart move to tick off a king when you're a foreigner in his land, this took some serious guts on their part.

The king soon realized theses three guys had skipped town and takes a less delicate approach to removing the so called "king of the Jews" they had come to visit. He simply ordered the death of all the Baby boys in the land.

It may be because the recording I was listening to had screams and dramatization at this point, or because I had just left my own 6 month old son at home, but the part of the King killing the baby boys slapped me in the face.

These three guys obeyed God and because of that baby boys were killed.

I've heard people say doing what's right is tough, but this is nonsense.

Is doing what's right instigating the massacre of innocent lives? Is doing what's right abandoning the helpless? Is doing what's right instigating trouble?

Right and wrong are only determined by the point of view from which you're looking. From the storyline in which you're using to make sense of the moments that string together around you to be called life.

When we read the story of these baby boys from a limited view of the mothers watching them die, this is awful, and, well... a list of other words I can't bring my self to process as I think of this being my own son.  These murders are simply incomprehensible.

But if we can force ourselves to read not only this story, but also our lives, from the larger story of God the incomprehensible action against these boys are caught in the redemptive recusing of not only the brothers and sisters of these boys, but of their parents and neighbors and of the generations to come... and of the guards who carried out such deeds.

The actions done to these boys is unspeakable, but the wise man allowed it to happen so that the baby they visited would one day become a man, a man who could look at the face of evil, the evil that stirred the heart of a king to kill sons not yet walking, and defeat that evil. To say your reign of terror has been marked with an end date. And from this time on people will choose to live against such evil and one day, one blessed and hopeful day, that baby who was spared, grew up, and defeated evil will return and wipe away all the tears, and put all the wrongs right.

So today as I think of the wrongs around me, of the wrongs that shouldn't happen, of the 8th graders who commit suicide, of the oppression and injustice that still live in the world today I squeeze the hands of the mothers of the babies killed in the story, and of the mothers and fathers and sisters and brothers who through out history who have watched evil move and joining hands with all of history I look forward to the day that all wrongs are made right and every tear is wiped, and every incomprehensible is no more and when obedience to good seals the tomb to disobedient evil.

To that day I look, come Lord Jesus Come.

Not 20 anymore....

So I'm sitting at the chiropractors listening to some odd 80's music while a sweet older lady talks to customers on the phone. The room looks like most waiting rooms, stacks of magazines, fake plants and people trying their hardest to avoid eye contact.

Lovely I say. Just lovely.

In 1998 I fractured two vertebra in my lower back. This little accident was no little recovery. It put me in the bed, a brace, and pain for months. But I healed and went back to being a normal high school boy.... thinking I was invincible.

Well, after a normal lazy Saturday of activity I found out I'm no longer invincible. I now can't decide to go for a 3 mile run, hike some and play multiple rounds of disc golf. This lite day has now given me some heavy pains, some pains that come with some heavy bills.

During my whining, moaning, and hobbling along my wife kindly stated "you know, you're not 20 anymore you know"

I wanted to punch her... but I'd obviously never do that... so I just didn't talk to her for a few hours (well done Matt, way to pout!)

I realized things happen, and given enough time the bad things we think will never happen may actually happen. We think we'll never need insurance, a backup disk, a back up plan, or in this case back up sick days. We believe, or at least I believe, that people will always do the right thing, the honoring thing, the good thing. But as much as I love living in my optimistic worldview there comes a time to look at reality and say "I'm not 20 any more."

Over the past few weeks I've talked with a husband who was signing his divorce papers, parents who's child was just taken advantage of by someone they never thought would, students whose "extracurricular activities" got them expelled and denied from their dream jobs, people asking how their pants can't button because of the extra pounds, and a slew of other things.

Things happen, things change and many of us will never recognize they have until it's too late.

So as I am now waiting for the doc to snap crackle and pop my spine so the numbness in my butt will go away I'm asking what else is changing in my life.

Where do I need to pause and take an honest look at?

How is my marriage really?

How is my weight, my eating habits?

How's my soul care?

Have I really talked with my family as often as I'd like?

Is my debt and spending heathy?

Are the values I claim to hold actually being lived? How would my wife, co-workers, and friends answer that?

Things change. Sometimes for the good, sometimes for the bad.

I'm not 20 anymore and I can actually throw my back out, but lets be aware and intentional so we don't throw out something that can't be popped back into place.

Ps... I'm now in traction and being stretched like a Medieval torture table, but oh does it feel good.

the passing of time...

The other night I thought I'd try a creative project. You know one of those projects you really don't have time for but you're really not in the mood to do the things you really should be doing so you gladly invite additional work as a short lived aversion to the more important task before you.

Don't act like you don't do this!

Well my project was to try and use HDR (high dynamic range) photography to capture a sunset. HDR photographs take an odd number of pictures (usually 3-7 pictures) and compresses them into one, so you get the best single photograph possible. The images are a couple of examples from this evening.

I climbed out onto the roof, set up a fisheye lens on a tripod, and then let it snap a series of 5 images every 30 seconds. This started as the sun was approaching the horizon and we captured images all the way till it was dark (roughly 4 hours later).

This experiment taught me a few things, first capturing 10 pictures every minute for 4 hours gives you way too many pictures.  Second, compressing these photos into 148 single images takes some serious time, but most importantly even with all this time invested the video is still too short to actually mean anything.

I invested 8 hours or more in the making of this silly thing and at the end of the day I think it's still lame.

I've seen some amazing HDR time lapse videos over the past year. Videos that are jaw dropping and inspiring. But my video, all 8 hours of investment, is not so. I'm realizing the amazing videos are not 8 hours of work, but hundreds of hours of work. Not 1400 photos but a hundred thousand photos.
My 8 hours and 1400 photos produced no movement, or point, or climax, or resolution. It's just clouds moving with some music and nothing happens.

If we're honest life has these moments. Moments where you feel you've given a really good effort to something but what you're getting in return is just junk, just meaningless effort.

I'm realizing our lives need time. Our visions and dreams need time to them, lots of time. They need more then what we think they do for something of meaning, lasting meaning, to really happen.

What would happen to marriages if we all took not a short view but a crazy long view, a view that said this story is gonna develop over decades not years. What would happen to our children if we committed to a story longer then just "this season" of life? What would happen to relationships with co-workers, neighbors, family members if we saw the current tension or stress or aggravation as just part of the big story?

At the end of my creative project I realized it's just not worth it to me to invest what it takes to make an amazing video.

But when I think of my marriage, my son, my work, it is worth the investment, it is worth the years and hours and seasons necessary to make something amazing of it.

So if you feel you've given enough and it's time to cash in your chips to see what you get, Don't! Keep pushing, keep investing, keep on keeping on. Cause the world doesn't need another lame excuse for a video, or more importantly a lame excuse for a marriage, a family, a career.

Your life is capable of something amazing. Don't stop short.

Seth & Liz

Life has an unique way of turning strangers into friends and the funny thing is when you can't remember how you meet in the frist place.

Seth is one of those people for me.

I know that Seth and I knew each other before the summer of 2010, but how or why I can't remember. But I do know that it was in the summer of 2010 he became a friend. That summer I was responsible for launching the Student ministry at our Lancaster city campus, as well as back filling for an empty staff position we had on our student min team, as well as finishing the 22 weddings we had booked for the year, and because we were crazy trying to maintain a full course load in our masters program.

2010 was the year I truly learned how to delegate and how close to insanity I can go without being forced into the fetal postions rocking back and forth while sucking my thumb.

Seth interned that dreaded summer for me and simply knocked it out of the park. His creativity, work ethic and personality was a delightful fit for our team. I had dreams of him interning through the school year but he was determined to leave us and Lancaster for a school in Philly.

Seth would go on to intern 2 more summers with me, but more importantly he would go to Philly and not only discover life in a new way but also discover one he would later call the love of his life.

During one of our random school year breakfasts he shared that there was a girl now in his life. Interesting I thought, as he spoke of her his face couldn't contain the smile and his emotions oozed from his non-verbals.

Liz went from being "a girl I know" to a girl friend, to a fiancee and as of this summer his wife.

Seth and Liz bestowed on me the amazing honor of co-officiating their wedding with Liz's Dad. And as a gift Pearl and I photographed their first look and some formals, while Seth's old LIFE group (or small group leader at church) photographed their ceremony.

Their wedding was beautiful, the colors vibrant, the mood delightful and the love put on display real.

Pearl and I were honored to be a part of their day but more importantly to be a part of their lives.

Seth and Liz now volunteer at LCBC city campus with me and as more time is put into their marriage the more real I see their love and relationship being. They simply are the real thing.

Thank you Seth and Liz for sharing your life and love with Pearl and I, we love you guys.

Here's a few of my favorite pics from the day.